My Issue With (Some) Adages
not all sayings are solid
I recently wanted to numb myself from real life for a moment, so I started scrolling on social media. And, unsurprisingly, I came across one of those sponsored posts from a ‘life guru.’
I don’t remember the exact content, but it offered up a few bland cliches about how to approach life.
The more I chewed on it, the more I realized that there are certain cliches that I absolutely cannot stand. Not only are they over simplistic and in some cases saccharine, but mostly because they are just plain inaccurate.
Here are some that are top of mind for me lately:
Bloom where you are planted.
Okay. *Deep sigh* I understand that the intent behind this saying is to encourage people to thrive in their environment and circumstances, especially since a lot of those things are out of your control. In some cases, yes, you have to make do. I get it.
But last time I checked, we aren’t actually plants.
The problem I have with this saying is it seems to indicate that we should be able to thrive in ALL environments. This doesn’t recognize that there are workplace cultures that are terrible, and genuinely the wrong fit. This doesn’t recognize that there are family members (and, c’mon, people in general) that are toxic.
Sometimes you just can’t ‘bloom’ where you are planted because the soil is filled with nuclear waste.
True unconditional love is everlasting.
I don’t know how often people really say this, but I certainly feel that this was a concept that I’ve heard many people think or say.
I take issue with the term ‘unconditional love’ because, quite frankly, it’s just not a healthy concept.
Honestly? The only unconditional love that I have in my life is for my child and my dog.
No, not even my husband.
Expecting someone to love you unconditionally is an unrealistic bar. Expecting that you’ll love someone else unconditionally is unhealthy attachment.
Yes, people are flawed. That’s where forgiveness comes in... because we all make mistakes.
But if a person continues to make the same disastrous, selfish mistake over and over again, then at some point it is imperative to say “thanks, I’ll wish you well from afar.”
Do what you love and never work a day in your life.
Unless what you love is being a trust fund baby and lounging around in an Olympic-sized pool of obsequious blissful ignorance...just, no.
I was contemplating how to end my disjointed thoughts on adages, when I realized that the best way to do so is to share a quote that I find so richly resonant (for me) at this point in my life.
I shared it on Twitter, but want to share it again.
"If you are willing to take the harder way, the more complicated one, the one with more failures at first than successes, the one that has ultimately proven to have more meaning, more victory, more glory then you will not regret it." --Chadwick Boseman